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May 2nd, 2011

10:14 am - Don't you want me baby ? Chapter 2, part II


Maybe Santana should have stayed. This is very awkward now. When she was still here, I just had to behave, I had no other choice. It was simple. Nothing could happen. Now, I'm not so sure. All I can focus on is my shallow breathing, her own breathing. I feel oppressed. Just go to sleep Fabray, just stop thinking…

"Quinn ?" she whispers behind me. God, help me.

"Mmm ?"

"Are you sleeping ?"

What kind of fucked up question is that ? Of course I'm not. I don't answer at first. But I can feel her eyes burning holes at the back of my head…

"What do you want Berry." I reply coldly. I have to preserve myself. My bitch mask is back on.

"I was just wondering… I thought… do you mind if I ask you something ?"

"You just did."

Ask me what ? This can't be good…

"I was wondering…" she goes on. "Have you ever… thought back to what happened at my party ?"

I can feel my heart thumping furiously in my chest. We are not having this conversation…

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about the kiss, Quinn."

No. No no no…I don't wanna talk about it. I can't. God, Santana please come back.

"What about that ? Why are you asking me that ?" I sound angry now, but the truth is I'm terrified.

"Don't yell at me Quinn… I'm asking you because I want to know…"

"Well no. I haven't thought about it. Ever. And we were drunk Rachel, it didn't mean anything, why would I think about it ?" Liar. Big, fat, liar.

"Yes, we were drunk, at least I know I was but… still."

"What are you implying ?"

"Nothing. It's just… I happen to think about it sometimes, that's all."

Really ? She has thought back to it. Could she have feelings for me too ? God don't think about that Fabray, that'd be even worse! I can't be with her ! I just… can't.

I'm still facing the wall. I certainly can't look at her right now. I don't know what to say. What can I say ? I can't tell her that I've been thinking about it all the fucking time and that it's driving me insane! I don't want my life to be like that. It'd fucking ruin everything!

"Quinn ?"

I guess she's still waiting for an answer.

"What ?"

"Are you mad ? You're not saying anything."

"What did you expect me to say ?"

"I don't know. To get mad, to tell me I am a freak. That you don't want to share my bed anymore. That you don't want to be in the same room…"

"Are you making all this shit up just so I'll go back to my bed ?"

She wouldn't do that, right ?

"No Quinn, I'm not. I'm… I'm pouring my heart out, here."

My breath catches in my throat. God, she likes me. She does.

"Because I know we were pretty drunk that night, but, I had the impression it had been more than that. Nobody had ever kissed me like that…"

I can't process what she is saying. It is too much. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. I'm petrified.

"I … I saw fireworks when I kissed you, Quinn."


I know I should turn around and face her. She is making herself so vulnerable here, and it's so rude of me to stay in that position, my back to her. But I'm afraid that if I see her face, all my resolves are going to crash down. Say something Fabray… My brain is processing so fast it hurts. What can I answer to that ?

"Why are you telling me this, Rachel ? I have a boyfriend! I have Finn!" The same guy you were still trying to steal from me not so long ago!" The guy I convinced I was in love with to win Prom Queen, but especially the guy I tried to keep Rachel away from. If I can't have her, then nobody can. And if I'm with Finn, then he is not putting his paws on her… I know that's evil, but I'm extremely possessive.

"I know I tried to get him back for a while. But I'm over him Quinn."

"You say that, but you think I don't see the way you stare at us when we kiss? You're obviously not over him." My voice is wavering .Tears are welling up in my eyes and I blink them back. Can she please let it go?

"When I see you two kiss, I'm not jealous of you Quinn, I'm jealous of him."

I just want to run away and cry so badly. I just can't breathe properly anymore. I won't be able to hold back much longer.

"Please, don't say that Rachel…" I utter brokenly, barely over a whisper. A lone tear is streaming down my cheek. I can't pretend anymore.

"Quinn? what's wrong ?"

I don't say anything, as silent sobs start to shake my body.

"Are you crying ?" she sounds concerned and scoots closer, putting a hand on my bare shoulder. The contact is electrifying. I want her so badly.

"Quinn, tell me... What's wrong?"

"I- I can't."

"Is this because of Finn ?"

Why does she have to mention him NOW ?

"No ! God ! Why are you always so fucking obsessed with him ?" I brush my tears away forcefully and she squeezes my arms a little.

The room is silent for a moment, as I try to regain my breath.

"You don't really love him, do you?" she asks softly, after a moment. I'm not seeing her face, but I just know she's looking fondly at me.

My tears subdue and I try to breathe normally again. I just shake my head as a reply.

"Do you like someone else?" she whispers, putting a strand of hair behind my ear.

I exhale heavily and nod, still avoiding eye contact with her.

"Are you confused about your feelings for them ?"

I nod again and she scoots even closer, resting on her side and an elbow. I know she knows. We both know. I've never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. I can feel her body flushed against my back. I close my eyes, revelling in the sensation.

"It's okay to be confused." She adds before laying a kiss on my shoulder blade. When I don't flinch, she goes on, trailing a path of sweet kisses from my shoulder to the crook of my neck. I keep my eyes closed, silently begging her not to stop. As if on cue, she whispers :

"Do you want me to stop ?"

I shake my head. I really don't.


She rubs my arm up and down slowly and starts sucking on my pulse point. My breath catches in my throat and my eyes flutter close again. I turn my head a little, granting her more access. Her teeth rake slightly over the spot and she continues with open-mouthed kisses on my neck and collar bone. I'm breathing heavily now and I feel my body flushing with heat. I finally yield and roll onto my back, capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

My tongue explores her mouth hungrily and I hear her moan against my lips. My body reacts instantly, as I feel wetness pooling between my thighs. I pull her on top of me even further and my hands start roaming, desperate too feel each and every inch of her body. They scoot under her large T-shirt as they discover for the second time the soft extent of skin on her back, before brushing lower, over her ass and legs. Her thigh finds a way between mine and I gasp at the soft pressure, breaking the kiss momentarily. Her mouth hovers above mine as we're craving for oxygen, both of us panting heavily.

The kiss-well, kisses- we shared at her party are nothing in comparison with what's happening tonight. Tonight we are sober. Tonight there are feelings involved on both parts. This is so much more powerful. And scary. I feel dizzy but I can't get enough. My arms circle the back of her neck and I pull her into another kiss. Her hands caress my sides softly and finally reach the bottom of my top. A small hand finds the skin of my stomach and draws lazy patterns there, sending shivers through my spine.

In a sudden surge of boldness, I roll us over and pin her onto the mattress, our fingers intertwined above her head. I guess I tend to be bossy… My eyes land on hers. She's staring back at me, her gaze full of desire. I feel so beautiful when she looks at me like that, like I'm the one. I hope she feels the same right now, as my eyes are plunged into hers.

"You're so beautiful, Rachel." I whisper sincerely, my inhibitions down.

She untangles one of her hands and buries it into my hair, before it trails down my neck. She hooks a finger in my gold necklace and pulls down on it, bringing me towards her.

Our bodies and lips press together once again, gently this time. Our lips meet like it's the first time, brushing, sucking, getting acquainted. There is no rush this time. I want to enjoy each and every second of it. This is beyond everything I have ever experienced. Our tongues dance together, slowly, achingly so. I can't get enough of her.

My lips leave hers and trail down her jaw. I burry my head in the crook of her neck and inhale deeply. My senses are in overload. I suck on the soft flesh I found, as I let myself drown in the sweet scent of coconut and something uniquely Rachel. My hands find a path under her shirt again. Her stomach twitches under my palms and I hear her gasp as they travel up to cup her perfect breasts.

And then it hits me. I love her. This is not just a stupid crush. It is so much more than that. And just like that, a wave of sadness engulfs me. I feel trapped. My whole body tenses over Rachel. What am I gonna do? This is so fucked up! I can't be with her. What if I'm gay ? What am I gonna do ? What are people gonna say ? What about my parents ? I'm gonna be homeless again. And then, out of nowhere, I start crying.

I let out a choked sob against her neck and fresh tears starts running down faster than even.

"Quinn ?"

My whole self is shaking, violent sobs raking through my body. Without a second though, she holds me tight against her until my tears subdue. They are soaking her shirt at the collar, but she doesn't seem to mind. At least she doesn't say anything.

"I'm sorry." I tell her after a few minutes of silence, my throat a little sore from all the crying.

"Shh, it's okay."

We stay like that a little longer, my head nestled against her neck, her chin on top of my head, our bare legs entangled. I'm mentally exhausted now.

"Do you want to tell me why you cried ?" she whispers, like walking on egg shells.

I sigh.

"You don't have to." She adds quickly.

I hesitate a little, and let it out eventually.

"It's just… I'm so scared."

"About what ?' she asks, stroking my hair soothingly.

"About everything." I reply honestly. "It scares the shit out of me."

"You don't have to be afraid Quinn. Everything will be fine."

"It's easy for you to say. Your dads are gay and you've been bullied your whole life anyway."

I feel her tense a little under me.

"Wait, I didn't mean it like that."

I untangle myself from her and level my head with hers, looking straight into her eyes. Hurt is written all over her face and I have to admit it breaks my heart a little.

"Rachel, I'm sorry…"

"No, you're right." She murmurs, looking down.

I lift her chin back up.

"No, really. I didn't mean that. It's just… I'm afraid. Of what people would say if we were, like, together… If they knew I was gay."

"You are?"

"What?" What is she talking about ?

"Are you gay ?"

I avert my eyes. Am I ?

"I don't know… Maybe…"

"What about Finn ? And Sam ? and… well, Puck ?"

It's not easy, accepting that you might be gay. Try doing it in front of someone…

"Finn was the popular Quarterback and I kinda needed him when I first arrived at McKinley. Sam was nice to me, but, I don't know… it never really clicked. And Puck… well, that's when I tried to convince myself that I liked boys. It didn't go too well obviously…"

She is silent for a moment.

"You were never... attracted to them ?"

I shrug. I guess not...

"But why Finn now ? You don't need him anymore. You're the most popular girl at school."

"I need him to win Prom Queen." I answer, a bit ashamed of myself. I don't say anything about not wanting her to be with him. She doesn't have to know the entire truth behind Finn and me…

"That's not true Quinn." She smiles sweetly at me. "You don't need anyone to achieve anything, trust me."

I smile back at her, grateful. I'm so glad she is here right now. It's more complicated when I'm with her, and yet… I feel safe. She has so much confidence, in herself, in me… It's overwhelming. I lean in a little. I want to kiss her. Yet, I'm not sure how. We're not together. We just… like each other. A lot. I'm not good with feelings.

She seems to understand my hesitancy and closes the gap between our lips. See ? So much confidence !

When we break apart, I move a little closer and nuzzle against her nose. She puts her arm around my waist.

"What if my mom tells me to get out of her house again?"

My whisper is so low I'm not sure she hears it. I can feel my stomach churning at the bare thought of this happening again to me.

"I really hope she won't Quinn. But if this ever happens, you won't be on your own. I promise. And anyway, you don't have to tell anyone until you're ready. Okay?"

"Okay." I answer, tightening my grip on her.

A few minutes later, as we are both steadily drifting off to sleep, I finally say:



"I saw fireworks, too."




I wake up to the sound of Rachel's phone, the first notes of "Rain on my parade" blaring from her bedside table. I groan as she shifts slightly under my arm, reaching out to switch the damn thing off. I realise I've been spooning her from behind in my sleep, my arm wrapped around her torso.

The room falls silent again. I blink furiously as I try to open my eyes, the morning light already invading the space. I decide to keep them closed a little longer. I'm not a morning person…

I feel Rachel rolling over. I know she's facing me now, probably looking at me. I open one eye briefly. I was right. She's definitely looking at me.

"You know it's creepy to watch people sleep…" I tell her with a hoarse voice.

"I can't help myself. And you're not asleep anyway." She answers softly. I can hear the smile in her voice.

I put my hands on my face, sleepily.

"Don't look at me. I must look like shit…"

"You never look like shit, Quinn…"

I groan again and lower my hands, finally opening my eyes, staring back at her. God, she looks so sweet with her tousled hair and stuffs. I look like a mess in the morning… She is lucky I'm even talking to her right now. Usually, I don't utter a proper word to anyone before I've taken a long shower and had a cup of coffee.

"Are you freaking out ?" she asks, tentatively. I can see she's not as confident as last night.


I'm not freaking out, which is surprising, even for me. But what can I say. I feel peaceful. Actually more peaceful that I have felt in a long time.

"Do you have any regrets… about last night ?" she asks again, biting her lower lips with anxiety.

"No Rachel, I don't… I just wish I could have been honest with you and myself a bit sooner…"

I have to admit, it took me quite a long time to acknowledge that I had feelings for the girl, let alone that I was probably gay.


I take her hand in mine and squeeze a little, to prove my point. She squeezes right back.

"What are we gonna do now ? What do you want to do ?"

...I have no idea.

"I don't know… I want to break up with him. I do, I will. But… just give me some time, okay ?"

"Okay. I don't want to be pressuring you or anything. I know this is difficult for you."



"What about us, though ?" she asks again, shyly, after a few seconds.

"What do you mean ?"

"Are we… you know, together ? Not officially, I mean. But, between us… Do you want to… see each other, outside of school, and… you know, do things that… couples do…"

I can't help but smile at her nervous rambling.

"But maybe it's to soon, and it's okay, I won't get upset if you think so, I just-"


"Yeah ?" she chokes, out of breath.

"I'd love that. Doing couply stuffs with you."

She let out a sigh in relief and beams that perfect smile of hers. She's too pretty… It melts my heart to know I'm the one who does that to her.

"Just… not in public though… no yet."

"Yeah, of course."

I smile back at her and revel in the fact that the spark in her eyes is just for me. I lean in and kiss her softly and she reciprocates immediately with the same- if not more- fervour.

"As good as this is -" she says between kisses. "We really should get ready – After all – we have Nationals today – I'm afraid to say – I almost forgot."

"Good ? That's all ?" I ask before kissing her again, focusing on the first part of her sentence.

"As amazing as this is."

"Yeah, that's more like it..."


A few minutes later, she pulls away eventually.

"Quinn, seriously, we are going to be late."

"Alright..." I surrender. "I'll go take a shower then."

Just as I'm about to enter the bathroom, Santana barges in once more. I had almost forgotten about all her stuffs scattered in the room.

"Berry. Q." she greets us without a single look, walking to her suitcase.

"Satan." I greet back, coldly.

"I know you love me, tubers."


She scans the room eventually and her eyes fall on Rachel. She's eying her suspiciously. This can't be good…

"Why are you looking at me ?" Rachel asks, a bit fearful. This is awkward.

"What's up with you Berry ? You haven't uttered a word since I came in. The Berry I know would have attacked me with her verbal diarrhea or something, greeting me with an overly annoying and perky "good morning!". This feels... just wrong."

Now that she pointed it, she isn't totally wrong. I Guess she has other things on her mind, this morning...

"Well, I, uh, I'm just preserving my voice, Santana. One's vocal chords have to be treated with the utmost care before such a-"

"Okay, shut up. I've had enough already."

"Well, set up your mind Santana, you just told me that-"

"I told you it was weird, Rupaul. It didn't necessarily meant it was a bad thing."

Her gaze then settles on our bed, and hers, alterning between the two, back and forth.

"Wait, you slept in the same bed ?"

My eyes go wide in panic, I look at Rachel, begging her to say something. How can she know that for Fuck's sake ? Okay, the sheets on her former bed are barely even crumpled… Shit.

"No. Quinn slept in yours. She just…"

"I don't move in my sleep." We're so screwed… seriously. Shitty excuses, much?

"...Whatever." She seems to drop it. Thank God.


She gathers the rest of her stuffs quickly and eventually heads towards the door. She's about to cross the threshold, when she adds, finally:

"Oh, and Quinn, you might wanna cover up that hickey."

Oh my god, I gasp internally. And with that she is gone. I rush to the bathroom, looking for the proof. Is that one of her sick joke again ? Oh Fuck. I suppose the mirror can't be lying. My fingers brush tentatively over the dark purple spot on the side of my neck. Oh fuck fuck fuck! Rachel scurries into the bathroom right after me, and gasps at the sight.

"Oh my god, Quinn, I'm so sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to do that. Oh god…"


What they don't see is a tanned brunette dragging her suitcase along the corridor, with a smirk on her face. Awesome gaydar, indeed.


Reviews are Love :)

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10:10 am - Don't you want me baby ? Chapter 2, part I

A/N : Okay so, this is the next part. I had opted for a One-shot at first because I'm kinda bad with multi-chaptered fics, but then some of you asked for more, and then I had some ideas again. So that's it ! The second (and I think LAST part of this story).

This chapter takes place in New-York, just before Nationals. It's a long chapter (not too long, I hope). And also, I hope you guys kinda like Santana's character cause she has a pretty big part in this chapter too. BUT THIS A STILL A FABERRY STORY, don't worry ^^

last but not least, thanks for reading, and thanks so much to those who left reviews... they just make my day :)


ps : the entry was too long, so I had to cut it into 2 parts, the link for the second (and most important) one is at the end

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T READ THE FIRST CHAPTER : ashdo.livejournal.com/1300.html




Great. Just fucking great.

How I ended up sharing a crappy bedroom with Berry instead of having the time of my life in the greatest city in the world… someone has to tell me.


"Guys ! Guys ! Attention please ! So, remember you have 5 bedrooms at your disposition. I'll let you chose your partners, but hey, guys stay with guys, and girls with girls ! No mixing the genders. Okay ? I'll come and check your night arrangements before I go to bed so… don't try and mess up with me. I'll be sharing the room 506 with Ms. Pillsbury if someone needs anything."

"And how is that not mixing the genders…" I hear Santana mutter beside me. Not that she really cares. Obviously.


I should have known better than to wait for somebody to propose to share a room with me. Tina, Mercedes and Lauren literally scurried into the first bedroom, declaring it their own. And while I tried to convince Brittany to let me sleep in her and Santana's bedroom, the proposition didn't go well with Santana. So, it led me there. Stuck in the last bedroom with Rachel Berry.

We haven't talked about the kiss -or should I say the "make out session"- since. Not even once. Everything almost got back to normal after that. Like it never even happened. Almost. I don't say it wasn't a bit awkward at first. There were… looks, a few times… which made me uncomfortable. And I would jump a little every time our body barely brushed. I don't think she really noticed though. God I hope not. It's already humiliating enough.

The whole party is really just a blur in my head now. But that kiss. It seems like I CAN'T get it out of my mind, no matter how much I want to. I shouldn't have feelings for her. She is Rachel Berry. Okay, she is pretty in her own way, and she has a great body –not that I really pay any attention to it, but we have PE classes together, and it's only natural for a girl to take a look at the others in the locker room, and compare her body with theirs… you know what I mean. I'm not a perv or anything… Anyway. Like I said, she is pretty. But she is a girl. An annoying one on top of that. Plus, I have a boyfriend ! Okay, I told Finn I wanted to be with him because it'd be more likely for me to win Prom Queen if I had a popular boyfriend, but still. He is my boyfriend. So I shouldn't be thinking about how his hands are too big, his chest too flat, or how she smells better than him, kiss better than he does… God, that's so wrong…

"Is it okay for me to take this bed ? I'm afraid the air conditioning on this side of the room might impair my voice for tomorrow. It could have great consequences, reduce our chances to win Nationals…"

"Yeah. Okay. Whatever, I don't mind." Thank God we don't have to share a bed. This would have been the end of me.

"Thank you Quinn, that's really nice. You can have the bathroom first, if you want."

It's only 9:30pm. Does she expect me to go to the bathroom and change ? I mean it's not like we are going to get out of that room until we go to bed, but still. 9:30, really ?

"No you can go if you want. I'll change later."

"Oh okay."

I grab my suitcase and shove it beside my designated bed, before plopping down ungraciously on top of it. She is eying me suspiciously. I know she's gonna say something, it's only a matter of time…

"Later, as in twenty minutes ? Or as in two hours ?"

"What the fuck, Berry ! The sun is still up ! Do you want to go to bed now ?"

"Well, tomorrow is the big day, and-"

"We don't have to perform until 3 in the afternoon ! You can sleep in the morning, you know ?" That girl is just too much. Why do I have a crush on her again ?

"But I have my morning routines to-"

"Rachel ! Just… Stop. Talking. I'm not going to bed at 9:30 and that's all ! End of discussion." I look away to prove my point, and start fumbling into my bag, looking for a magazine.

"Okay. I guess I'll just go and first then…"

"Right. Just go."

With that, she grabs her toilet bag and pyjamas, and heads towards the bathroom.


I'm already half-way through the magazine –it's not like there's that much to read in those…- when I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in."

"Hey Quinn !" Mr Schue is standing in the doorway. "Is everything's fine ? Rachel is with you somewhere ?"

"Yeah, yeah. In the bathroom." The girl has been in there for at least twenty minutes or so. The water stopped running a long time ago. I wonder what she is doing, it's not like she puts a lot of make up on during the day. Maybe she has an evening routine too, with organic vegan products or something…

"Alright. Good night then. Don't forget, room 506 if you have any problem."

"506. Got it. Good night."

With that he closes the door and I return to my magazine. Did you know Lindsay Lohan was in rehab again ?


It's only a few minutes later when I hear someone knock again. Probably Schue who forgot to tell us something, like "And remember girls, meeting at 10 in the hall. Don't be late !". I don't even have the time to answer before I see a cranky Santana barging in with her enormous suitcase.

"Santana ! What the hell are you doing ? I never said you could come in..."

"Whatever Q. I'm moving in. And anyway why did you want me to wait outside, it's not like I haven't seen everything before, in the locker room after Cheerio practice."

"What if Rachel had been naked ?"

"Ugh, gross." She scoffs. "And the midget would have locked the door."

She pulls her suitcase furthermore inside, before removing her shoes and throwing them on the opposite side of the room.

"Oh ! And I'm taking your bed."

"What ? No way ! What are you even doing here ? Aren't you supposed to sleep with Brittany or something ?"

This is seriously NOT happening.

"Well, apparently, Wheels thinks it's okay for him to get his mac on with Britt Britt in our bedroom. So I'm sleeping here."

"What the fuck, San ! Just tell him to get out ! You're not sleeping here !"

"Why not ? Do you want to get your freak on with Berry ?"

No. I do not. Well, maybe a little, but that has nothing to do with that… and it's not going to happen anyway.

"Haha. Very Funny. Just get out. This is MY bed."

"I can't. There is probably some sperm on the sheets now-" OMG, she did not just say that... "-you don't want to impose that to me."

"San ! God ! Gross ! That is so… disgusting."

Okay, that's REALLY disgusting. Now I just can't get the image out of my head.

"Yeah, yeah, right. Miss Celibacy Club. So you're giving me your bed because I'm NOT sleeping with the midget."

This seriously CAN'T be happening. I can't share a bed with Rachel. This is so beyond the limits of my comfort zone…

"In that case, you're sharing the bed with me."

"Certainly not. I need my space. And I what I don't need is a hot blonde beside me to remind me what the cripple has been doing with Britt !"

"I can't sleep with Rachel." I just say, with no arguments left.

"Why not?"

"It's just… gross."

If only she knew…

"Get over it tubers."


"Okay, then, we'll just ask Berry who she'd rather share her bed with. And she'll say you, because I scare the shit out of her."

God, she is probably right. I'm so screwed…

"Anyway, I have to pee."

She walks to the bathroom and pushes the door open without even knocking first. And then I hear a shrill noise…

"Damn it, Berry, shut your face. I've seen a girl in a bra before." She doesn't even bother raising her voice.

"Santana, I'm not done yet ! Just wait for your turn outside and let me put a shirt on."

"I'm sorry but you have to get out if you don't want me to pee in your suitcase. That's pretty urgent."

"At least let me put my shirt on !"

"Just get out, Rupaul. They're not that impressive anyway."

And with that I see Rachel being literally thrown out of the bathroom, with tiny shorts and no top on, indeed. My eyes rake over her body, I can't really help myself. Toned legs, flat stomach… perky bra-clad breasts… God, Fabray, stop staring.

Our eyes meet briefly and we both blush. She clears her throat a little.

"Okay, so… I'm just gonna… put something on." She says, obviously embarrassed.

I don't say anything. I don't think I can say something that won't sound totally lame right now. My brain is focused on her body, or rather, on how NOT to stare at it. And it needs all the concentration it can get…

As she walks past me, I can smell a faint scent of coconut, probably from the shower gel she used. Could she be any more tempting ? She puts an oversized T-shirt on and turns towards me. She suddenly frowns and gapes, like she just realised something.

"Wait, what is Santana doing here ?"

"She wants to sleep with us." I state, matter-of-factly.

"Wha-what ?" A look of sheer panic flashes across her face. Oh sweet Jesus, she did not just go there…

"No ! God ! Not like that ! She wants to sleep… here ! In our bedroom."


She looks relieved.

"Don't ever do that to me again Quinn. I have asthma."

I can't help but start laughing at that comment. She smiles and joins in. God, I love that sound…

"Who knew you have a kinky mind, Berry."

"I do not."

When our laughters subdue, she asks again :

"But why ? I thought she shared a room with Brittany ?"

"She did, she did. But she said Artie came in, and, well…"

"Oh. I see…"

We fall silent for a bit, and Santana barges in again.

"So, Berry" she starts, letting her hair down, "You have a choice. Who do you want to sleep with ? Me, or the blonde?"

I cast a glance at Rachel who looks back at me. I repress a smile as I know she must have gotten the innuendo again.

"Why do I have to share my bed ? Why don't you both sleep in Quinn's bed ?" she answers, avoiding the question.

"Because… we're the two HBIC in here. And you're just… Berry, which means : you're nothing. So you lose."

"That's not fair !" she cries.

"Stop whining. It just gets on my nerves. It's already enough to have to put up with you…"

"I'll have you know, Santana, that if your unsatisfied you can still go back to your room ! Nobody is keeping you here against your will."

"Like I said to Quinn earlier-"

"Oh no… no no don't." I cut in suddenly, remembering too well what she said about Britt and Artie…

"Okay, I won't. So Berry, we don't have all night. Quinn, or me, who do you pick ?"

I avert my gaze, looking at my imaginary friend on my right… I can't look at her. I'm too confused. I can't share a bed with her. This is just too much. But yet, I want her to chose me. What if she chooses Santana over me ?

"Then I guess… I'll go for Quinn." She says in a low voice.

I'm screwed !

I look back at her and she smiles, somehow shyly. I was about to smile back, but then I remember I'm supposed to hate her for picking me. So I just glare in her direction.

"Told you so." Santana tells me. "So Fabray, get your stuffs out of my bed, now."

I sigh. This is gonna be a looong night…


I've been sitting on Rachel's bed –well, our bed now- for the last 15minutes or so. And Rachel is also on that said bed. Sitting right next to me… Hell and Heaven have never felt so much alike. I just pretend I'm reading that same magazine again, but in fact I'm only skimming through the pages without even looking at the articles. From the corner of my eyes, I see her fidgeting on the bed. I'm not so sure what she is doing. Nothing, apparently. I raise my head when I hear Santana coming out of the bathroom, wearing sweat pants and a tank top. She plops down on the bed across the room and looks back at me, resting on her elbow. The room is silent for a bit.

"This is like the kingdom of Boredom in here." She finally says, breaking the heavy silence. I guess she is not totally wrong. She grabs the remote on her bedside table and puts the T.V. on.

"Santana, don't you know that watching T.V. just before bed is not good for the brain? It disturbs one's biological clock."

"Whatever Berry. Like there is something better to do."

"We could just… go to sleep ? It's almost 10:30 now. It's a pretty decent hour to do so, right ?"

Santana stares at her like she just got hit with a brick or something.

"Do you ever… you know… live, sometimes, Berry ? I though you just dressed like a grandma/toddler, I didn't know you behaved like one, too..."

"We are performing tomorrow !" Rachel answers desperately. "This is important ! It's already past my usual bed time and Quinn hasn't even changed yet ! We really need to be in good form for the show ! My broadway carreer could depend on it !"

She really is passionate about it…

"I know someone who won't be in good form with my fist in their face." Santana mumbles under her breath.

"Okay, Berry, you know what, I'll just go and change…" I'm afraid her nerves have enough to bear already with Santana's presence in the room, this is the least I can do for the girl…

"Thank you Quinn." With that, I head towards the bathroom.

Once inside, I let out a breath I realise I had been holding. This situation is not healthy. First I get stuck with Berry and I have all these… feelings to keep in check, and then I get Santana as a chaperon, watching my every move, like a vulture. This is fucking Hell. Can tonight be over already? And God I'm gonna share the bed with Rachel. What if she brushes against me in her sleep ? What if I say something compromising? What if she tries to kiss me again ? No, she wouldn't do that. She was drunk last time. She probably kissed me because I had said nice things to her and well, she's needy when she drinks. So she probably just assumed it was appropriate to thank me like that…

After briefly washing my face and brushing my teeth, I get out wearing a white wife beater and a pair of grey shorts.

"I don't want to be a bitch Q, but your fat is showing a little in those. You should think about getting back on the Cheerios."

"What ?" I look at Santana blankly, totally dumbfounded.

"Take it as an advice from aunty Sany, I don't want you to go back to Lucy. Q. Fabray."

This is so… I'm not fat. I mean I might have gained like… barely two pounds since I quit the cheerios. Maybe three. I gaze down at my body. Am I fat ? Now I'm insecure. I feel naked, and shy. I feel like Lucy Q right now. Totally self-conscious again.

"Santana ! This is bullshit !" I hear Rachel cry out, taking my defence. I'm a little shocked. Rachel Berry never swears. "Quinn doesn't need to lose weight! Are you insane?"

"Like you would know anything about it, Hobbit."

"I know what I see, Santana. She is gorgeous, she doesn't need to lose weight!"

She said I was gorgeous. She said "gorgeous". I'm blushing now, I can feel it. Does she really mean it ? I reach the bed quickly and jump under the covers, hiding the proof of what Santana is implying. Since when do I let Santana get to me like that ? Usually I just have a snarky answer about everything she throws my way. Rachel Berry in the room is cramping my style. It's like my brain is off all the fucking time when she is around !

"Berry, you like puffy pyramid nipples. You don't know what's hot and what isn't."

"This is about Quinn, okay ? This has nothing to do with Finn !"

"Yeah, well, Quinnie is getting a bit curvy, that's all I'm saying."

"Will you just… stop gossiping about me ? I'm here ! This is rude !"

Seriously, what's wrong with people ?

"But Quinn I was defending you, here." Rachel says, scowling at Santana.

"Yeah, well, thanks. But the "rude" part of my sentence was mostly directed at Santana."

"Okay, but don't listen to her Quinn. You're not fat. You're the prettiest girl at McKinley." Rachel adds softly, gently putting a hand on my knee above the covers. She smiles sweetly at me and I feel myself drowning in her brown orbs. Just remember how to breathe, Fabray…

Neither of us says anything for what seems like a long time. Santana is closely watching the interaction, her eyebrow raised in a perfect arch.

"Okay, girls, I don't want to interrupt this disgustingly fluffy moment of yours, but my gaydar is beeping, like, furiously right now."

Gay ? What ? Her comment gets me out of my stupor.

"Like you can talk, Santana !" I snap, clenching my jaws.

"What can I say? I have the hots for Britt. It's out there, anyway. That's precisely why I know what I'm talking about."

"You don't know anything Santana! Anything at all! So just back off !" I snarl back at her. Can't she just mind her own fucking business for once ? Does she have the secret mission of ruining my life? I'm not gay. I'm not ! I'm into Berry. That's all. And she doesn't have to fucking know that. Fuck! Now I'm angry.

"Okay…" she adds, raising her hands defensively. "Looks like I hit a nerve or something…" she mutters, barely audibly.

I don't pick up on that comment. I don't want us to go on forever on the subject. I'm already totally busted. I fucking hate my life right now.

I cast a tentative glance at Rachel who, I discover, was looking at me the whole time. I avert my eyes, afraid of what she'd be able to read in them.

I lie down eventually and roll onto my side, facing the wall. I have to calm down. I don't wanna talk anymore. I fucking hate Santana. The room is silent. I just hear the sheets shuffling behind me.

"Alright man-hands, you just won that one. I guess we're just going to bed early after all… Crazy atmosphere in here…"

"Thanks to whom, Santana." I tell her from my spot, my voice still bitter.

"Just Chillax Fabray…" She gets off the bed and starts walking towards the door.

"Where are you going ?" I hear Rachel ask behind me.

"See if Puck is having more fun in his bedroom."

"You know he is sharing his bedroom with Finn and Sam, right ?" she informs her.

"Ugh. Gross. I guess I'll stay here…"


A few minutes later, the lights are finally turned off.

"Good night." Rachel whispers from behind me. I'm not sure if she whispers because it is the polite thing to do or if her words were addressed just to me. Knowing the girl and her tendency to be pretty "loud", I guess it's the second solution…

It must have been barely ten minutes when we hear a soft knock on the door. I had not drifted off to sleep yet anyway. My mind has been processing all this time… a lot.

"What the fuck." I hear Santana mumble on the other side of the room.

Rachel must know neither Santana nor I will get up to answer it, because she takes it upon herself to go and check who is behind the door.

"Rachel." I recognise Brittany's voice. "Is Santana here ?"

"Yes, she is."

I hear the door being closed and I finally turn over, facing Rachel and Brittany. What can I say I'm a curious girl…

"What do you want Britt." Santana asks, sounding totally blasé.

"San, go back to bed with me. I can't sleep when I'm alone. You know I get scared in the dark…"

"Wait, I though Artie was in there with you." Rachel intervenes.

"He was, but he left. Boys and girls can't sleep in the same room. That's what Mr. Schue said."

"That didn't prevent the two of you from doing the nasty in my bed ! I'm not sleeping in those sheets, Britt !"

"We didn't do anything San. We just cuddled for a bit."

"Like that's not even worse…"

"Please San." Brittany's voice is soft and pleading. "Please go back to bed with me ?"

The room fall silent. I hear Santana sigh.

"Fine… I'll grab my stuffs back tomorrow."

Only Brittany can talk Santana into doing something. That's pretty impressive. I'll always respect her for that…


They close the door behind them and Rachel finally walks back towards me. I stay under the covers, not moving an inch. He see her hesitate a bit as she reaches the bed.

"Do you want to go back to your bed ?" she asks carefully.

Right. I should go. But seriously I don't really feel like moving to the other side of the room now that I have been safely tucked under the sheets for almost twenty minutes. And honestly, I kinda want to share the bed with her... I've been doing it for fifteen minutes now, I think I can handle it a bit longer.

"Go there if you want. I'm not getting out of that bed now." I tell her, sounding a bit sleepy. It's just a ruse, really.

"But Quinn, the air conditioner is there…"

"I said I'm not getting out of this bed, Berry ! So go there or stay here, your choice." I turn towards the wall once again, and a few seconds later I feel the bed shift a little under her weight. I guess she chose to stay on this side of the room…

follow the link to read what's next : ashdo.livejournal.com/1827.html (chapter 2, part II)

(Leave a comment)

April 25th, 2011

04:28 pm - Don't you want me baby ? (One-shot)


God. I’m SO drunk.

As I look at my reflection in the mirror through heavy eye-lids in one of Rachel’s bathroom, I can’t help feeling a little self-conscious. Tousled hair, smoky eyes, flushed cheeks… well, when I say it like that, it kinda sounds sexy, but trust me, it’s not. I just look so fucking wasted…

It’s actually a good party. I was sceptical at first. What kind of party could be thrown at Rachel’s, seriously ? I mean I don’t hate her - it’s kind of the contrary actually, even if it doesn’t look like it - but the girl is just not… well, you know. You could expect something crazy at Puck’s or maybe at Santana’s, but at Rachel Fucking Berry’s ? I just expected this party to be “karaoke night” or something. With no booze, no fun. Thank GOD Puck convinced her to brake into her dads’ liquor cabinet. Otherwise… this would have totally sucked. I don’t know if I’d have left, because, like I said, I kinda like her –kinda being the key word. But I would have seriously died of boredom.

Or jealousy maybe. Why does she have to be all over Finn all the fucking time ? The guy is so fucking dumb. And useless. And anyway he’s too tall for her. She’s short but it’s cute. I mean it suits her, being short. Not that she’s a dwarf or something. She is just short, like a doll, it’s cute. But Finn is just a fucking giant, with giant paws. You can’t expect those giant paws to know how to handle a doll like her, can you ?

It’s 1:39 in the morning and everybody is still dancing, or jumping around in their underwear –at least Brittany is- so it’s a good party. It’s been a while since I last enjoyed myself like that actually. I’m invited to parties all the time, either thrown by the football team, or members of the Cheerios, but I’m not really a party girl anymore. I used to be, but I guess things change. Or at least a drunken hook-up resulting in an unexpected pregnancy changes you. So I tend to stop drinking after two glasses in general. But here, I know I’m safe. Puck is a no-no. I broke up with Sam. Mike is with Tina. Artie is with Brittany – not that I’d want to tap that anyway. Kurt and Blaine are totally gay. And Finn… just mentioning his name makes me want to punch someone. So, like I said, I’m safe with the gleeks. No risks of pregnancy. Anyway, it’s not like I would jump in bed with someone every time I’m drunk, but you know… I’m kinda traumatised by the whole fiasco.

I should probably go back to the living room, or the basement in fact, or the Oscar room… whatever. I’ve been in the bathroom for God knows how long. I just wanted to pee, because obviously a girl has to pee when drinking so much, but now I’ve been staring at the mirror for like a decade or something. Staring at my drunken face. Why do me eyes need to be so glassy every time I drink ?

I turn towards the door as I hear someone tumbling inside, laughing. I’d recognise that sound anywhere. Rachel Berry is clinging to the door handle, laughing hysterically, before closing the door behind her. Looks like I’m no the only drunken mess in this bathroom…

“Berry, what the fuck?” I let out with more anger that I intended.

“Oh Quinn ! I didn’t see you !”

She is not phased apparently, because she doesn’t add anything but starts walking towards the toilet seat.

She is not gonna do that, is she ? I mean, okay, we hang out together in Glee club, but we’re not friends or anything. She won’t pee with me in the room, right ?

I guess she will. She is sitting there now, as if it’s the more normal thing in the world.

“Berry, you know that I’m still here, do you ?”

“Yes, Quinn, I’m perfectly aware of it. But I really need to relieve myself right now. In other circumstances, I might have felt a little shy doing it in front of someone, but it looks like the alcohol has deprived me of my usual modesty.”


I don’t add anything after that. I keep on staring at the mirror- staring at her, indirectly.

Soon I hear the toilet flush and she is now beside me, washing her hands. I keep looking at her. It’s like I can’t help myself when I’m drunk. Damn it, stop being so fucking obvious Fabray !

“Hey girlfriend, having fun ?” she asks, or purrs, actually. Yeah, I’m definitely not the only one drunk in here.

“You asked me that already, remember ?”

“What ? When ?” She is frowning. It’s a cute look on her.

“Before the party even really started… You asked me the exact same thing.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t remember. So, having fun?”

“I’ve known worst.”

Why can’t I just be nice to her ? I’m drunk. I could say nice things to her and blame it on the alcohol afterwards. And it’s not like there is anybody near us who could possibly raise an eyebrow if I was actually friendly to Rachel. I mean to Berry.

“Well, I guess from you Quinn, it’s a real compliment.”

“Yeah. It is.” I finally say, letting my guard down. “I’m actually having fun.”

“Really?!” she looks shocked. “You’re not being sarcastic, are you? I don’t think I can comprehend sarcasm in my current inebriated state…”

Wow. Is that so hard to believe ? I really need to be nicer to her. A bit.

“No, no sarcasm.”

“Why, Quinn thank you!”

Before I can do anything about it, she’s pulling me into a tight hug. In other circumstances, I would have pushed her and told her to keep her man hands off my body, but I kinda like having her flushed against me like that. I circle her waist with my arms and hold her even tighter.

“You smell awesome.” She whispers in my ear. It catches me off guard.

“Uh… thanks.”

She pulls away eventually, keeping her hands on my shoulders to steady herself. She keeps staring at me, right in the eyes. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me a little uncomfortable… I can feel myself starting to blush.

“What ?!” I ask her. Why is she looking at me with her lovey-dovey eyes ? Needy girl drunk, Hudson was right.

“What what ?” she looks confused.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I’m not “staring” at you.”

“Yes, you are.” I hiss between gritted teeth. Okay, I shouldn’t react like that, but it’s like she is asking for it. And I’m not used to being nice for too long, for Christ’s sake ! I’m trying here !

“Does it bother you ?” she asks with a smirk. Is she flirting with me ? God, she is so irritating…

“Yes, it does.”

“Why ?” her smiles grows and her eyes are mischievous.

“Because you don’t stare at people ! It’s just… not… polite.”

“But I like staring at you.”

I don’t say anything for a few seconds. My eyes find her brown ones and stare back, almost daring her to stop. It’s like a staring contest or something. Obviously she is not gonna lose anytime soon…

I finally avert my gaze and push her hands off my shoulders gently, before turning to the mirror once more. She stays beside me without adding anything. I’m not leaving, I don’t want to. She is not leaving either. I guess I have to start a conversation.

“So, you kissed a gay guy. How was it?” Even I am not convinced by that question. It’s stupid really.

“Oh you mean Blaine ?”

“Yeah, Blaine, the gay guy, whatever.”

“It is not nice to call people by a label Quinn.”

“Whatever. I didn’t say that to be offensive. I don’t mind he is gay.”

“Maybe, but still. You wouldn’t like being called… erm…”

“Yes ?”

“Hang on a sec, it’s not easy to find a label that suits you…”

“You mean apart from Hot Blonde Cheerleader.” Yeah, I know, I can be superficial. And narcissistic. But I’m realistic, too.

“Yeah, well apart from that.”

“You think I’m hot ?” I ask her, and she blushes. Two can play that game, Berry…

“Nobody can deny that, I mean that’s pretty objective.”


“Anyway,” she clears her throat a little. I think I have hit a nerve here… “I’ll come back on the label thing, what if last year somebody had asked what it was like to kiss the pregnant girl?”

“I would have said it is pretty amazing.” I answer with a smirk. I know she is right about that label thing, but she doesn’t have to know that.

“Quinn… you know what I mean.”

“So how was it to kiss “Blaine”?” I asks with air quotes, facing her.

“It was good. Awesome.” She answers with a grin.

Jealousy. God, now I’m jealous of a gay dude. This has to fucking stop!

“Oh but Quinn ! You didn’t kiss anybody !” She adds. It’s only now she realises it ?

“No. I wasn’t playing.”

“Why not ? It was fun !”

“Spin the bottle is not fun. It’s gross.” I say with a disgusted face. “I didn’t want to take any risks…”

“What do you mean ?”

“Well, like kissing Finn, for instance.”

“Why ? You went out with him ! Plus, he is very handsome.” She answers dreamily. God, can’t she stop mooning over that douche bag for a bit ?

“No, he is not. You get blinded by the quarterback label at first, and then you realise he is just a horny little boy stuck in the body of a giant moron.”

“Wow, that’s a little harsh.”

“No it’s not. With a little hindsight, you’ll see that I was right.” Okay, maybe it is a little harsh. But, I just want to open her eyes a little…

“And apart from Finn, anybody else ?”

“That I didn’t want to kiss ?”

She nods.

“Sam would have been awkward after what happened. Puck is a no-no, for obvious reasons. The guys were pretty much all involved anyway. Lauren is just scary. Tina and Mercedes… just, no. I wouldn’t risk kissing Britt, Santana would kill me…”

“What about me ?” she asks.

For fuck’s sake, Berry, don’t go there…

“What about you?” I try to sounds nonchalant, but I can’t deny the lump forming in my throat.

“Am I a “no-no” or something?”

“Well, you’re a girl, so, yes… obviously.”

“That’s it ?”

“What do you want me to say ?”

“I don’t know. For the others, you gave somewhat valid reasons.”

“I don’t want to kiss you because you’re just… Rachel Fucking Berry.” That sounds mean, even for me. I regret saying it as soon as it leaves my mouth.

“Oh. Okay.”

The sparkle in her eyes disappears, as well as the drunken smile she had been sporting. I feel guilty now. She swallows and downcasts her eyes. Very guilty…


“No, no it’s okay. I understand.”

“No really, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Which is true. Why does things have to be so fucking complicated all the fucking time... I know I swear a lot. It’s my coping mechanism.

I put my hand under her chin and lift it, so that I can look her in the eyes.

“Really, Rachel, I’m sorry.” I say with all the sincerity I can convey.

She nods and I sigh in relief.

“Did you just call me Rachel, though ?”


“Because in general, it’s Berry. Or man hands, or treasure trail… or Rupaul.” I hate that she reminds me of that. Actually, it’s Santana who found all the nicknames. I’ve just been recycling. Well, except for Rupaul, this one is mine…

“Yeah, my tongue must have slipped…”

“No it didn’t.” She says with confidence, looking at me straight in the eyes.

“Okay it didn’t.” I surrender, smiling a little.

The room is silent for a moment. Only the music is still blaring on the other side of the door.

“I like it when you call me Rachel. I feel a bit less worthless.” She finally says with a smile. I smile back at her, not knowing what to say. You’re not worthless, you’re amazing, is what I would answer if I had the guts to.

She starts walking towards the door.

“You’re leaving ?” I sound a bit more desperate that I would have liked.

“I just want another drink. You want something ?”

“Uh, yeah, okay. I’ll have what you have.”

With that she leaves me alone in the bathroom. Alone with my thoughts. Another drink is perhaps not the best idea ever. I really have to put myself together around her. More than I want to admit, even to myself. Why does she have such a pull on me ?

I suddenly want to sit and decide for the bath tub. It’s not comfy, at all. With that she enters the bathroom again with two glasses and locks the door behind her. Why is she locking the door ?

“Why are you locking the door ?”

“Don’t worry Quinn, I won’t rape you or anything…”

I can’t help but blush a little at that comment. I did not expect that in the mouth of Rachel Berry.

She hands me a cup.

“What’s that ?” I ask, taking a sip.

“Sex on the beach.” She grins, “Hope you like it!”

I almost choke on my drink. Sex on the beach ? Really ?!

“When did you learn to make one ?”

“Puck showed me how.”

I laugh. “Tell me why I’m not surprised… don’t let him show you anything he wants to teach you though…”

“I’m not that naïve Quinn… I already refused having intercourse with him. Twice.”

Well at least I guess I won’t have to be jealous of him, too…

“Amen to that. Cheers !”

We finish our drinks quickly, and before I can say anything, I see her get inside the bath tub on the opposite side. I don’t have it in me to tell her anything. I actually don’t want to.

“I like talking to you Quinn. It’s a shame we never got to do that earlier, and well… sober.”

I would certainly NOT behave like that if I were sober. I have a HBIC reputation to preserve. Too bad my heart seems to win over my head after a few drinks…

“Yeah, me too.”

“You really think so ?” She looks at me with puppy eyes. It makes it hard for me to concentrate, even more so as I feel the effects of my last drink starting to kick in.

“Yeah. When you’re not being annoyingly obsessed with your solos, you’re actually okay to hang out with.”

I really hope she won’t remember I said that in the morning…

“I don’t think you’ve ever been that nice to me.” She says with a content smile.

“Well don’t get too used to it, Berry.” I tell her jokingly and she flashes a bright smile at me in return.

We fall silent again and she stares at me… again! I avert my eyes, feeling embarrassed a little, but she just keeps doing it.

“Will you just stop ?” I ask her, with more shyness than anger. I’m really getting soft. It’s not good for me.

“Stop staring ?”

“Yes !”

If she knows she is doing it then why does she keep doing it like it’s totally appropriate, God !

“I don’t want to.”

“If you want me to keep being nice to you, you’d better stop.” I warn her, clenching my jaws.

“But you’re so used to be in the spotlight all the time, why does it bother you ?” she almost whines. She can be such a diva sometimes.

“Because ! People just don’t do that, it’s rude !”

“Do you feel intimidated ?” she smirks.

And here we go again with the semi-flirting !

“Actually, yes, a bit ! I’m feeling… self-conscious, I don’t like people looking at me for too long…” I tell her honestly.


“Because they might see flaws.” I answer in a low voice, averting my eyes. I’m not sure she heard it.

“You have no flaws Quinn. You’re beautiful.”

“I have flaws. Many, even !”

“No. You’re perfect.”

“I’m not.”

“I envy you.” She adds, confidently.

Now I'm blushing. Again ! I don’t tend to blush in general. People don’t get to me that easily. I really need to put my mask back on.

She shifts in the bathtub, sitting a little closer to me.

“You shouldn’t. Envy me.”

“You have the perfect face every girl dreams of, whereas I should get myself a nose job.”

“Don’t let people make you believe that you need one. You don’t. There are plenty of people out there who like your nose. I like your nose.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I do actually. I think it suits you.”

She frowns, and hesitates a bit. “How am I suppose to take that ?”

“As a compliment. Not everything I say is mean. Believe it or not.”

I am being honest right now. What can I say, I like her nose ! I think it makes her unique. It gives her strength, character. It’s pretty. She is pretty. So I tell her.

“You’re pretty, and your nose is pretty. It suits you.”

She stare at me, but blankly this time, like she just can’t believe it. When she doesn’t stop, I ask again.

“What ?”

“Nothing, I just… really want to hug you right now.”

How can people hug inside a bath tub ? It’s risky, far too risky for me…

“You hugged me earlier.”

“Yes but, what you just said… I have to hug you.”

She crawls towards me, and almost straddling my lap, she puts her arms around my neck and brings me towards her. My hands instinctively find her back and I hold her close for the second time tonight.

“Thank you.” She whispers in my ear.

“You’re welcome.”

When she pulls away, she actually stays on my lap. Her face is too close for my own good. Thank god she’s wearing that ugly green dress tonight, otherwise I would have lost all control a long time ago…

My breath catches in my throat as she puts a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

“Why wouldn’t you kiss me ?”

“What ?”

“You didn’t gave me a reason earlier. And you said you didn’t mean what you said, about “Rachel fucking Berry”. And you just told me you think I am pretty. So, why ?”

“Why do you want to know ? Are you gay or something ?”

Okay, that’s easy I know, but why does she have to push me like that ?

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been brought up believing everybody tends to be sexually fluid at one time or another, but this have nothing to do with it. And, taking my past relationships into account, I’d say that no, I am not gay, at least not like Kurt or Blaine… I just want to know why you don’t want to tell me that.”

“Can’t you just drop it ?” who am I kidding… Drop it? Rachel ? “It’s like you want to kiss me or something.”

“Well I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

“What ?”

“Do you find it surprising ? I just said you were beautiful, and that I’m potentially sexually fluid. So you’re a pretty decent target, in my opinion.”

Oh wow. Warnings. This is dangerous. This can’t be happening. It CAN’T happen. I must be dreaming or something. Right ?

“Quinn ? My eyes are up here.”

Crap ! Was I staring at her lips ? Thank god there is no cleavage with that dress… Say something… anything.

“Quinn, I’m gonna kiss you now.”


“Stop me.”

Like I fucking can !

Her lips are on mine before I can say or do anything. They barely brush at first but then her hands cup my face and she adds pressure on them. My chin is up as her face hovers above mine because of her straddling position. I can’t help but reciprocate the kiss. She takes my upper lip in hers and sucks gently, sending shivers through my spine. God, this feels SO good. Before I can think of what I’m doing, my hands find her bare thighs under that ugly dress and squeeze the soft flesh. My bold move seems to give her some kind of permission because I feel her mouth open slightly against mine and our tongues meet eagerly. Okay, that’s it. Now I can fucking die.

Who knew that Rachel Berry is actually an amazing kisser ? Not that I really doubted it, deep inside, but still… I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or something, but it’s like I’ve never been that in-sync with someone while kissing them. Who am I kidding, it’s not the alcohol. It’s her.

She tangles her hands in my hair while mine start travelling higher, and grabbing her hips, I pull her towards me even more. Her arms circle my neck, holding me prisoner, as our mouths keep discovering each other. Our body meld together and I feel her breasts pressing against my torso. It’s so fucking sexy. Soon we’re seriously lacking some oxygen and we break apart just a bit. We’re both panting heavily. Her mouth lays there, lips parted, a few inches above mine. I should struggle to brake free, I should push her, tell her she’s a freak, that she had no right to do that. But I can’t. Not tonight. Not right now. Right now I want it. So fucking much, it’s killing me.

She must see that I’m processing because she starts smiling a bit. I stay there, not doing anything, as I look her in the eyes, waiting for her to say something.

“What?” she asks still smiling, probably wondering why I’m looking at her like that.

Her arms are still circling my neck, her body pressed against mine and I feel her hot breath on my lips.

“Stop teasing me.” I say, somehow out of breath.

She seems to understand where I come from, and she leans in just a little, stopping a mere inch above my lips. Does she not understand what “teasing” means ?!

“Kiss me” she says.

God ! She is so… argh, Infuriating ! If I kiss her, that officially makes me a willing participant. Not that she can doubt my willing participation after what just happened, but still. She is so fucking smart, that’s annoying. And you know what, she wins.

I crane my neck without a second thought and reaches for her lips. I’m in no mood for negotiations.

I don’t know how long we stay here in the bath tub, making out. I just know it feels fantastic. It’s slow and gentle and… absolutely amazing. Her hands are roaming over my body, caressing my shoulders above my denim jacket, my stomach above my dress… Her fingers brush across my skin, from my collar bones to my chest, leaving a tingling sensation. My hands found a way across the soft skin of her bare back and bare stomach. It’s addicting. I’m so screwed…

A loud bang on the door makes us jump a little and we break apart, suddenly hyper aware of what we’ve been doing all this time.

“Hey, please, whoever is in there ! I really need the bathroom !”

Mercedes’ voice brings us back to reality and we don’t know where to look, avoiding each others’ gazes. She manages to stand up in the tub, her arms on each side to support her weight. I realise we’ve been in that position so long I can’t even feel my legs anymore. I stand up after her, tentatively, and I reach for the hand she holds out to help me.

“Thanks.” I murmur, lowly.

Without another word, we quickly run our hands over our clothes and hair, trying to hide the messy proof.

She is about to unlock the door, when I grab her wrist.

“Rach… just… just don’t tell anyone, okay?” I sound so fucking weak right now. She just nods with a tiny smile.

“I won’t.” she answers honestly, her eyes looking straight into mine. “It’s not like somebody would believe me, anyway.” She adds with a smirk.

She is probably right.

We open the door and Mercedes tumbles inside, closing it abruptly behind us. We just part like nothing happened.

“Hey tubers, what were you doing in there with Berry ?”

Okay, I really don’t need Santana to be nosy right now.

“Just talking.” I say, looking blasé.

“Yeah right… FYI, you have some smeared lipstick here.” She says, pointing at the corner of my mouth. “Just saying…”

I try to erase the reminders of the kiss with my hand, and Santana just laughs before walking towards Sam. There is nothing on my hand. I’m sure she lied. Bitch.

My eyes scan the room and I spot Rachel looking at me in a corner. Finn and his giant pants are just next to her, and yet, it’s me she is looking at. I feel my heart fluttering a bit. I briefly look back at her before averting my eyes.

That’s gonna be my life now : pretending that I, Quinn Fabray, don’t have a giant crush on Rachel Freaking Berry.

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