|04:28 pm - Don't you want me baby ? (One-shot)|
God. I’m SO drunk.
As I look at my reflection in the mirror through heavy eye-lids in one of Rachel’s bathroom, I can’t help feeling a little self-conscious. Tousled hair, smoky eyes, flushed cheeks… well, when I say it like that, it kinda sounds sexy, but trust me, it’s not. I just look so fucking wasted…
It’s actually a good party. I was sceptical at first. What kind of party could be thrown at Rachel’s, seriously ? I mean I don’t hate her - it’s kind of the contrary actually, even if it doesn’t look like it - but the girl is just not… well, you know. You could expect something crazy at Puck’s or maybe at Santana’s, but at Rachel Fucking Berry’s ? I just expected this party to be “karaoke night” or something. With no booze, no fun. Thank GOD Puck convinced her to brake into her dads’ liquor cabinet. Otherwise… this would have totally sucked. I don’t know if I’d have left, because, like I said, I kinda like her –kinda being the key word. But I would have seriously died of boredom.
Or jealousy maybe. Why does she have to be all over Finn all the fucking time ? The guy is so fucking dumb. And useless. And anyway he’s too tall for her. She’s short but it’s cute. I mean it suits her, being short. Not that she’s a dwarf or something. She is just short, like a doll, it’s cute. But Finn is just a fucking giant, with giant paws. You can’t expect those giant paws to know how to handle a doll like her, can you ?
It’s 1:39 in the morning and everybody is still dancing, or jumping around in their underwear –at least Brittany is- so it’s a good party. It’s been a while since I last enjoyed myself like that actually. I’m invited to parties all the time, either thrown by the football team, or members of the Cheerios, but I’m not really a party girl anymore. I used to be, but I guess things change. Or at least a drunken hook-up resulting in an unexpected pregnancy changes you. So I tend to stop drinking after two glasses in general. But here, I know I’m safe. Puck is a no-no. I broke up with Sam. Mike is with Tina. Artie is with Brittany – not that I’d want to tap that anyway. Kurt and Blaine are totally gay. And Finn… just mentioning his name makes me want to punch someone. So, like I said, I’m safe with the gleeks. No risks of pregnancy. Anyway, it’s not like I would jump in bed with someone every time I’m drunk, but you know… I’m kinda traumatised by the whole fiasco.
I should probably go back to the living room, or the basement in fact, or the Oscar room… whatever. I’ve been in the bathroom for God knows how long. I just wanted to pee, because obviously a girl has to pee when drinking so much, but now I’ve been staring at the mirror for like a decade or something. Staring at my drunken face. Why do me eyes need to be so glassy every time I drink ?
I turn towards the door as I hear someone tumbling inside, laughing. I’d recognise that sound anywhere. Rachel Berry is clinging to the door handle, laughing hysterically, before closing the door behind her. Looks like I’m no the only drunken mess in this bathroom…
“Berry, what the fuck?” I let out with more anger that I intended.
“Oh Quinn ! I didn’t see you !”
She is not phased apparently, because she doesn’t add anything but starts walking towards the toilet seat.
She is not gonna do that, is she ? I mean, okay, we hang out together in Glee club, but we’re not friends or anything. She won’t pee with me in the room, right ?
I guess she will. She is sitting there now, as if it’s the more normal thing in the world.
“Berry, you know that I’m still here, do you ?”
“Yes, Quinn, I’m perfectly aware of it. But I really need to relieve myself right now. In other circumstances, I might have felt a little shy doing it in front of someone, but it looks like the alcohol has deprived me of my usual modesty.”
I don’t add anything after that. I keep on staring at the mirror- staring at her, indirectly.
Soon I hear the toilet flush and she is now beside me, washing her hands. I keep looking at her. It’s like I can’t help myself when I’m drunk. Damn it, stop being so fucking obvious Fabray !
“Hey girlfriend, having fun ?” she asks, or purrs, actually. Yeah, I’m definitely not the only one drunk in here.
“You asked me that already, remember ?”
“What ? When ?” She is frowning. It’s a cute look on her.
“Before the party even really started… You asked me the exact same thing.”
“Oh. Well, I don’t remember. So, having fun?”
“I’ve known worst.”
Why can’t I just be nice to her ? I’m drunk. I could say nice things to her and blame it on the alcohol afterwards. And it’s not like there is anybody near us who could possibly raise an eyebrow if I was actually friendly to Rachel. I mean to Berry.
“Well, I guess from you Quinn, it’s a real compliment.”
“Yeah. It is.” I finally say, letting my guard down. “I’m actually having fun.”
“Really?!” she looks shocked. “You’re not being sarcastic, are you? I don’t think I can comprehend sarcasm in my current inebriated state…”
Wow. Is that so hard to believe ? I really need to be nicer to her. A bit.
“No, no sarcasm.”
“Why, Quinn thank you!”
Before I can do anything about it, she’s pulling me into a tight hug. In other circumstances, I would have pushed her and told her to keep her man hands off my body, but I kinda like having her flushed against me like that. I circle her waist with my arms and hold her even tighter.
“You smell awesome.” She whispers in my ear. It catches me off guard.
She pulls away eventually, keeping her hands on my shoulders to steady herself. She keeps staring at me, right in the eyes. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me a little uncomfortable… I can feel myself starting to blush.
“What ?!” I ask her. Why is she looking at me with her lovey-dovey eyes ? Needy girl drunk, Hudson was right.
“What what ?” she looks confused.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“I’m not “staring” at you.”
“Yes, you are.” I hiss between gritted teeth. Okay, I shouldn’t react like that, but it’s like she is asking for it. And I’m not used to being nice for too long, for Christ’s sake ! I’m trying here !
“Does it bother you ?” she asks with a smirk. Is she flirting with me ? God, she is so irritating…
“Yes, it does.”
“Why ?” her smiles grows and her eyes are mischievous.
“Because you don’t stare at people ! It’s just… not… polite.”
“But I like staring at you.”
I don’t say anything for a few seconds. My eyes find her brown ones and stare back, almost daring her to stop. It’s like a staring contest or something. Obviously she is not gonna lose anytime soon…
I finally avert my gaze and push her hands off my shoulders gently, before turning to the mirror once more. She stays beside me without adding anything. I’m not leaving, I don’t want to. She is not leaving either. I guess I have to start a conversation.
“So, you kissed a gay guy. How was it?” Even I am not convinced by that question. It’s stupid really.
“Oh you mean Blaine ?”
“Yeah, Blaine, the gay guy, whatever.”
“It is not nice to call people by a label Quinn.”
“Whatever. I didn’t say that to be offensive. I don’t mind he is gay.”
“Maybe, but still. You wouldn’t like being called… erm…”
“Hang on a sec, it’s not easy to find a label that suits you…”
“You mean apart from Hot Blonde Cheerleader.” Yeah, I know, I can be superficial. And narcissistic. But I’m realistic, too.
“Yeah, well apart from that.”
“You think I’m hot ?” I ask her, and she blushes. Two can play that game, Berry…
“Nobody can deny that, I mean that’s pretty objective.”
“Anyway,” she clears her throat a little. I think I have hit a nerve here… “I’ll come back on the label thing, what if last year somebody had asked what it was like to kiss the pregnant girl?”
“I would have said it is pretty amazing.” I answer with a smirk. I know she is right about that label thing, but she doesn’t have to know that.
“Quinn… you know what I mean.”
“So how was it to kiss “Blaine”?” I asks with air quotes, facing her.
“It was good. Awesome.” She answers with a grin.
Jealousy. God, now I’m jealous of a gay dude. This has to fucking stop!
“Oh but Quinn ! You didn’t kiss anybody !” She adds. It’s only now she realises it ?
“No. I wasn’t playing.”
“Why not ? It was fun !”
“Spin the bottle is not fun. It’s gross.” I say with a disgusted face. “I didn’t want to take any risks…”
“What do you mean ?”
“Well, like kissing Finn, for instance.”
“Why ? You went out with him ! Plus, he is very handsome.” She answers dreamily. God, can’t she stop mooning over that douche bag for a bit ?
“No, he is not. You get blinded by the quarterback label at first, and then you realise he is just a horny little boy stuck in the body of a giant moron.”
“Wow, that’s a little harsh.”
“No it’s not. With a little hindsight, you’ll see that I was right.” Okay, maybe it is a little harsh. But, I just want to open her eyes a little…
“And apart from Finn, anybody else ?”
“That I didn’t want to kiss ?”
“Sam would have been awkward after what happened. Puck is a no-no, for obvious reasons. The guys were pretty much all involved anyway. Lauren is just scary. Tina and Mercedes… just, no. I wouldn’t risk kissing Britt, Santana would kill me…”
“What about me ?” she asks.
For fuck’s sake, Berry, don’t go there…
“What about you?” I try to sounds nonchalant, but I can’t deny the lump forming in my throat.
“Am I a “no-no” or something?”
“Well, you’re a girl, so, yes… obviously.”
“That’s it ?”
“What do you want me to say ?”
“I don’t know. For the others, you gave somewhat valid reasons.”
“I don’t want to kiss you because you’re just… Rachel Fucking Berry.” That sounds mean, even for me. I regret saying it as soon as it leaves my mouth.
The sparkle in her eyes disappears, as well as the drunken smile she had been sporting. I feel guilty now. She swallows and downcasts her eyes. Very guilty…
“No, no it’s okay. I understand.”
“No really, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Which is true. Why does things have to be so fucking complicated all the fucking time... I know I swear a lot. It’s my coping mechanism.
I put my hand under her chin and lift it, so that I can look her in the eyes.
“Really, Rachel, I’m sorry.” I say with all the sincerity I can convey.
She nods and I sigh in relief.
“Did you just call me Rachel, though ?”
“Because in general, it’s Berry. Or man hands, or treasure trail… or Rupaul.” I hate that she reminds me of that. Actually, it’s Santana who found all the nicknames. I’ve just been recycling. Well, except for Rupaul, this one is mine…
“Yeah, my tongue must have slipped…”
“No it didn’t.” She says with confidence, looking at me straight in the eyes.
“Okay it didn’t.” I surrender, smiling a little.
The room is silent for a moment. Only the music is still blaring on the other side of the door.
“I like it when you call me Rachel. I feel a bit less worthless.” She finally says with a smile. I smile back at her, not knowing what to say. You’re not worthless, you’re amazing, is what I would answer if I had the guts to.
She starts walking towards the door.
“You’re leaving ?” I sound a bit more desperate that I would have liked.
“I just want another drink. You want something ?”
“Uh, yeah, okay. I’ll have what you have.”
With that she leaves me alone in the bathroom. Alone with my thoughts. Another drink is perhaps not the best idea ever. I really have to put myself together around her. More than I want to admit, even to myself. Why does she have such a pull on me ?
I suddenly want to sit and decide for the bath tub. It’s not comfy, at all. With that she enters the bathroom again with two glasses and locks the door behind her. Why is she locking the door ?
“Why are you locking the door ?”
“Don’t worry Quinn, I won’t rape you or anything…”
I can’t help but blush a little at that comment. I did not expect that in the mouth of Rachel Berry.
She hands me a cup.
“What’s that ?” I ask, taking a sip.
“Sex on the beach.” She grins, “Hope you like it!”
I almost choke on my drink. Sex on the beach ? Really ?!
“When did you learn to make one ?”
“Puck showed me how.”
I laugh. “Tell me why I’m not surprised… don’t let him show you anything he wants to teach you though…”
“I’m not that naïve Quinn… I already refused having intercourse with him. Twice.”
Well at least I guess I won’t have to be jealous of him, too…
“Amen to that. Cheers !”
We finish our drinks quickly, and before I can say anything, I see her get inside the bath tub on the opposite side. I don’t have it in me to tell her anything. I actually don’t want to.
“I like talking to you Quinn. It’s a shame we never got to do that earlier, and well… sober.”
I would certainly NOT behave like that if I were sober. I have a HBIC reputation to preserve. Too bad my heart seems to win over my head after a few drinks…
“Yeah, me too.”
“You really think so ?” She looks at me with puppy eyes. It makes it hard for me to concentrate, even more so as I feel the effects of my last drink starting to kick in.
“Yeah. When you’re not being annoyingly obsessed with your solos, you’re actually okay to hang out with.”
I really hope she won’t remember I said that in the morning…
“I don’t think you’ve ever been that nice to me.” She says with a content smile.
“Well don’t get too used to it, Berry.” I tell her jokingly and she flashes a bright smile at me in return.
We fall silent again and she stares at me… again! I avert my eyes, feeling embarrassed a little, but she just keeps doing it.
“Will you just stop ?” I ask her, with more shyness than anger. I’m really getting soft. It’s not good for me.
“Stop staring ?”
If she knows she is doing it then why does she keep doing it like it’s totally appropriate, God !
“I don’t want to.”
“If you want me to keep being nice to you, you’d better stop.” I warn her, clenching my jaws.
“But you’re so used to be in the spotlight all the time, why does it bother you ?” she almost whines. She can be such a diva sometimes.
“Because ! People just don’t do that, it’s rude !”
“Do you feel intimidated ?” she smirks.
And here we go again with the semi-flirting !
“Actually, yes, a bit ! I’m feeling… self-conscious, I don’t like people looking at me for too long…” I tell her honestly.
“Because they might see flaws.” I answer in a low voice, averting my eyes. I’m not sure she heard it.
“You have no flaws Quinn. You’re beautiful.”
“I have flaws. Many, even !”
“No. You’re perfect.”
“I envy you.” She adds, confidently.
Now I'm blushing. Again ! I don’t tend to blush in general. People don’t get to me that easily. I really need to put my mask back on.
She shifts in the bathtub, sitting a little closer to me.
“You shouldn’t. Envy me.”
“You have the perfect face every girl dreams of, whereas I should get myself a nose job.”
“Don’t let people make you believe that you need one. You don’t. There are plenty of people out there who like your nose. I like your nose.”
“Yes, I do actually. I think it suits you.”
She frowns, and hesitates a bit. “How am I suppose to take that ?”
“As a compliment. Not everything I say is mean. Believe it or not.”
I am being honest right now. What can I say, I like her nose ! I think it makes her unique. It gives her strength, character. It’s pretty. She is pretty. So I tell her.
“You’re pretty, and your nose is pretty. It suits you.”
She stare at me, but blankly this time, like she just can’t believe it. When she doesn’t stop, I ask again.
“Nothing, I just… really want to hug you right now.”
How can people hug inside a bath tub ? It’s risky, far too risky for me…
“You hugged me earlier.”
“Yes but, what you just said… I have to hug you.”
She crawls towards me, and almost straddling my lap, she puts her arms around my neck and brings me towards her. My hands instinctively find her back and I hold her close for the second time tonight.
“Thank you.” She whispers in my ear.
When she pulls away, she actually stays on my lap. Her face is too close for my own good. Thank god she’s wearing that ugly green dress tonight, otherwise I would have lost all control a long time ago…
My breath catches in my throat as she puts a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
“Why wouldn’t you kiss me ?”
“You didn’t gave me a reason earlier. And you said you didn’t mean what you said, about “Rachel fucking Berry”. And you just told me you think I am pretty. So, why ?”
“Why do you want to know ? Are you gay or something ?”
Okay, that’s easy I know, but why does she have to push me like that ?
“I’ll have you know that I’ve been brought up believing everybody tends to be sexually fluid at one time or another, but this have nothing to do with it. And, taking my past relationships into account, I’d say that no, I am not gay, at least not like Kurt or Blaine… I just want to know why you don’t want to tell me that.”
“Can’t you just drop it ?” who am I kidding… Drop it? Rachel ? “It’s like you want to kiss me or something.”
“Well I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”
“Do you find it surprising ? I just said you were beautiful, and that I’m potentially sexually fluid. So you’re a pretty decent target, in my opinion.”
Oh wow. Warnings. This is dangerous. This can’t be happening. It CAN’T happen. I must be dreaming or something. Right ?
“Quinn ? My eyes are up here.”
Crap ! Was I staring at her lips ? Thank god there is no cleavage with that dress… Say something… anything.
“Quinn, I’m gonna kiss you now.”
Like I fucking can !
Her lips are on mine before I can say or do anything. They barely brush at first but then her hands cup my face and she adds pressure on them. My chin is up as her face hovers above mine because of her straddling position. I can’t help but reciprocate the kiss. She takes my upper lip in hers and sucks gently, sending shivers through my spine. God, this feels SO good. Before I can think of what I’m doing, my hands find her bare thighs under that ugly dress and squeeze the soft flesh. My bold move seems to give her some kind of permission because I feel her mouth open slightly against mine and our tongues meet eagerly. Okay, that’s it. Now I can fucking die.
Who knew that Rachel Berry is actually an amazing kisser ? Not that I really doubted it, deep inside, but still… I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or something, but it’s like I’ve never been that in-sync with someone while kissing them. Who am I kidding, it’s not the alcohol. It’s her.
She tangles her hands in my hair while mine start travelling higher, and grabbing her hips, I pull her towards me even more. Her arms circle my neck, holding me prisoner, as our mouths keep discovering each other. Our body meld together and I feel her breasts pressing against my torso. It’s so fucking sexy. Soon we’re seriously lacking some oxygen and we break apart just a bit. We’re both panting heavily. Her mouth lays there, lips parted, a few inches above mine. I should struggle to brake free, I should push her, tell her she’s a freak, that she had no right to do that. But I can’t. Not tonight. Not right now. Right now I want it. So fucking much, it’s killing me.
She must see that I’m processing because she starts smiling a bit. I stay there, not doing anything, as I look her in the eyes, waiting for her to say something.
“What?” she asks still smiling, probably wondering why I’m looking at her like that.
Her arms are still circling my neck, her body pressed against mine and I feel her hot breath on my lips.
“Stop teasing me.” I say, somehow out of breath.
She seems to understand where I come from, and she leans in just a little, stopping a mere inch above my lips. Does she not understand what “teasing” means ?!
“Kiss me” she says.
God ! She is so… argh, Infuriating ! If I kiss her, that officially makes me a willing participant. Not that she can doubt my willing participation after what just happened, but still. She is so fucking smart, that’s annoying. And you know what, she wins.
I crane my neck without a second thought and reaches for her lips. I’m in no mood for negotiations.
I don’t know how long we stay here in the bath tub, making out. I just know it feels fantastic. It’s slow and gentle and… absolutely amazing. Her hands are roaming over my body, caressing my shoulders above my denim jacket, my stomach above my dress… Her fingers brush across my skin, from my collar bones to my chest, leaving a tingling sensation. My hands found a way across the soft skin of her bare back and bare stomach. It’s addicting. I’m so screwed…
A loud bang on the door makes us jump a little and we break apart, suddenly hyper aware of what we’ve been doing all this time.
“Hey, please, whoever is in there ! I really need the bathroom !”
Mercedes’ voice brings us back to reality and we don’t know where to look, avoiding each others’ gazes. She manages to stand up in the tub, her arms on each side to support her weight. I realise we’ve been in that position so long I can’t even feel my legs anymore. I stand up after her, tentatively, and I reach for the hand she holds out to help me.
“Thanks.” I murmur, lowly.
Without another word, we quickly run our hands over our clothes and hair, trying to hide the messy proof.
She is about to unlock the door, when I grab her wrist.
“Rach… just… just don’t tell anyone, okay?” I sound so fucking weak right now. She just nods with a tiny smile.
“I won’t.” she answers honestly, her eyes looking straight into mine. “It’s not like somebody would believe me, anyway.” She adds with a smirk.
She is probably right.
We open the door and Mercedes tumbles inside, closing it abruptly behind us. We just part like nothing happened.
“Hey tubers, what were you doing in there with Berry ?”
Okay, I really don’t need Santana to be nosy right now.
“Just talking.” I say, looking blasé.
“Yeah right… FYI, you have some smeared lipstick here.” She says, pointing at the corner of my mouth. “Just saying…”
I try to erase the reminders of the kiss with my hand, and Santana just laughs before walking towards Sam. There is nothing on my hand. I’m sure she lied. Bitch.
My eyes scan the room and I spot Rachel looking at me in a corner. Finn and his giant pants are just next to her, and yet, it’s me she is looking at. I feel my heart fluttering a bit. I briefly look back at her before averting my eyes.
That’s gonna be my life now : pretending that I, Quinn Fabray, don’t have a giant crush on Rachel Freaking Berry.